Now it wasn’t all bad. I developed a skill that has done me well. I learned to read people and get an idea of what they were thinking before they said anything. I also got very good at controlling a conversation, only giving enough to keep the dialog and not letting them dig but never anything of real substance. It also drove me deeper into “hiding”. I made sure no one was going to learn about Debra (as I called her). This went on well into my college years. While in school, I pushed the limit. I would often wear panties to school. In the winter I would wear a cami under my sweat shirt. The heavy material would help to hide the straps. I loved the feeling of being dressed. I began to notice that I did better while taking exams when I did this. It was really hard to explain and if you don’t understand I still can’t find the words to fully explain it. I dressed at home behind locked doors and closed curtains. I got better with makeup and studied women. I would walk and work on my voice. "What can I do," I whispered, avoiding the full sound of my tightenedvocal chords. Now out of danger, I walked up the stairs, into thebathroom, and flicked the light.And there she was, staring back at me in the mirror. The girl that had,in some way or another, more sex in one day (and with more women) thanI'd had during my entire college program. Her eyes and face were thatcombination of gorgeous and unassuming, the high school ugly ducklingturned beautiful adult swan, with eyes of large brown saucers sittingthe center of clean porcelain, all tipped with small, cute nose withjust a hint of a turn upward. Her lips were just full enough, with anatural darkness that needed no lipstick for emphasis. The hair thatfell into her eyes was wavy and thick.But below the face, following the slender neck and strong shoulders, wasthe curves of a pin-up girl; full, gravity-defying breasts topped withchocolate kiss nipples and accessed with their small, glimmeringbarbells; a taut tummy with the.
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